A friend of mine, John Williams, radio host of The Creative Soul station
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/creativesoul recently aired a segment about the top 10 ways to seduce a man.
It got me thinking about relationships and how often people really "show" how much they love each other. How do we get beyond the words and onto the action? So here's my top 10 ways you can show your man some love today, for free! Don't fret ladies, my list for the fellas is coming soon :-)
Pray for him right now. You should be praying for him every single day. Of course we could stop here, but i believe that faith without works is dead. God was good and granted you a mate for life and expects you to love him the way, he loves you: unconditionally! And that's where the work begins. Humans are full of flaws and we frequently disappoint each other and ourselves. So when you get married, its so vital that you pray for him, asking God to continue to lead his steps in the ways of righteousness - and then you can follow him. So here's how w'ell start. Look up the word "Verb" and remember that LOVE is a verb. Its something you should do everyday!
Dress up in a nice outfit just to greet him at the door when he comes home. We all know men are visual creatures, but as a relationship matures- sometimes we can get lazy. Nobody wants to see you in a t-shirt & sweatpants ALL the time when your at home. So take the time to get all glammed up, I mean diva ready -on your way to the club looking flawless and try greeting him at the door with your best assest - A HUGE SMILE!!! I guarantee he'll love it.
Keep in mind, that the only thing you can control is YOU. Don't intervene in the way he does things. Let him have his own style. How often have you asked him to do xyz, and he does it and then you go right back behind him and re-do , just because it wasn't "right" aka the way YOU would do it . I'm not sure why women do this - but somehow when we get married we go into this "momma" thing- where we start monitoring our husbands actions. Take the word NEED out of your vocabulary when speaking to your husband. Ex. You need to take our garbage, you need to do this or that. That's not cool - and it will certainly push him away from you. Remember your not his mom, your his partner.
Work hard at making your home a place of rest for him. This may seem a no- brainer, but many women thinks this only has to do with keeping the house clean. Certainly that's a BIG part of it, a clean house does wonder for your mental state of being because your not looking at tons of clutter and mess. But part of making a home a place of rest goes beyond just the physical. Make your husband glad that he came home to you today. Have you ever seen movies where the husband, hits the bar up before he comes home ("he needs a minute")- that's NOT a good thing. That means hes starting to associate his house with drama. Being a place a rest means your house is PEACEFUL, DRAMA-FREE and its full of LOVE. Its his own Kingdom where he finds rest. His favorite place in the world should be at home.
Do something romantic/sweet for him for a change. Often times, the pressure is on the guy to create all this fantasy, rose petals, candles and chocolates to whoo the ladies- but have you ever taking the time to do something romantic for him? Men like romance too- in fact some are more romantic than women. But the best thing is that many men don't always need the extra fantasy that some women require. So for instance - try making him breakfast before he goes into work on Monday or have a picnic on your family room floor on Friday! . Take him on a weekend getaway. Try purchasing a electric foot bath that he can enjoy. Or give him a nice back or hand rub- complete with massage oil, and a nice home cooked meal & his favorite dessert. A little effort, can go a long way
And then later, do something sexy- Without getting to X-rated lol, try something new in the bedroom. I'm still shocked when I hear women who was the biggest freaks before they got married and then someone "puts a ring on it" and they turn into Mary Poppins overnight. Do you not understand, you have married each other for LIFE? That means you'll have to work at keeping the relationship fresh & spicy. Your man wants to know he has the best of both worlds: the housewife & the "fill in the blank". lol Find out what he finds to be really sexy on a woman- and do your version of that request. Get some new lingerie yourself or ask him to come with you and have him pick out something for you. Be willing to try a new position, new technique and not be all extra girlie about it- ("OMG!- you want what?) the key is being open. And believe me he'll be more than happy to show you :-)
Think about the relationships that you have--which ones positively influence your marriage and which ones don't? Pray about this, and then make some changes. - One of the worst cancers in marriage, is listening to other folks opinion about what your marriage should/shouldn't be. Your husband & you alone should create the type of marriage that suites you both. Just because, Auntie Jody & Uncle Rex, did xyz, had all there children by 30 years old- doesn't mean you should rush to have kids with your mate just because "it's what you supposed to do". Sure, you can heed advice from friends & family & even model some of your marriage on principles learned from other folks, but ultimately you two will create the legacy of your love. So yes ladies, if you have a couple of "friends/family" who constantly promotes negativity towards you & the man- either keep 'em far, far way from you or drop 'em for good. Once last bit of advice, STOP comparing your marriage to others that you see- your situation is unique to you both and it can't be compared. Just because that couple looks like they have it all together, best to believe they have their own unique set of problems as well.
Let him hear you - This is an area, that I think many women haven't been told of it's importance. The tongue has the power of life and death, and maybe you haven't been using it wisely. Ladies, stop being a vessel of complaints & criticism! If more than half your conversation is centered around a complaint or a criticism about your man or something else, you need to change you vocabulary to include more words of love. Call him at work today just to tell him you love him. Do not complain about your day, just tell him you love him and focus on him. Request his opinion about something you might not usually request his opinion about. Thank him for his opinion and do not criticize it at all. Before talking about anything else tonight, ask him how his day went and LISTEN intently. Be the JOY in your husband's life today. Make him smile & laugh, give him an encouraging word, and give him a hug.
Make sure you schedule quality together time as well as solo time- Spending quality time together and should always be a top priority. Spending time on the couch watching tv should not be the only way you spend time together. Find a hobby or activity that you both enjoy and actually spend time doing that thing. Take salsa lessons together, play a game or walk together and hold hands. Also spend some time alone focusing on yourselves. Don't trip when he wants to spend times with his friends, or he wants to watch sports in the other room- this is things he likes to do for himself. You should have things that you like to do solo as well, go to the spa, catch up with the girls, or just chill out at home- its important to spend time apart so that you can recharge your mind, body & spirit.
Thank him! Yep I said. Tell him Thank you. I'm convinced that GOOD MEN don't hear it often enough! But we see & hear all the negative stuff about how "he don't do this", "all of them are dogs" etc. Take the time to tell your good man- you love him, you appreciate him and you thank him for choosing you as mate. Thank him for doing a simple task today. Thank him for going to work today and providing for you & the family. Think of one of your flaws today (not one of his!) and thank him for always putting up with it. Then, do your best to work on making it better.
Do you have any ideas to add to the list? I 'd love to hear from you?
